{"id":40781,"date":"2026-11-02T18:10:49","date_gmt":"2026-11-02T17:10:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kosovatimes.info\/?p=40781"},"modified":"2026-11-02T18:27:14","modified_gmt":"2026-11-02T17:27:14","slug":"cfare-jane-divorcet-gri-dhe-pse-jane-rritur-ato","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kosovatimes.info\/index.php\/2026\/11\/02\/cfare-jane-divorcet-gri-dhe-pse-jane-rritur-ato\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c7far\u00eb jan\u00eb divorcet &#8220;gri&#8221; dhe pse jan\u00eb rritur ato?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>T<em>\u00eb \u00e7liruar nga detyrimet dhe t\u00eb lodhur nga martesa e tyre, njer\u00ebzit pas mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme po vendosin gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb ndahen. M\u00eb posht\u00eb jan\u00eb d\u00ebshmit\u00eb dhe komentet e dy shkenc\u00ebtar\u00ebve nga Universiteti i Patr\u00ebs  ne Greqi, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt analizojn\u00eb t\u00eb dh\u00ebnat q\u00eb kan\u00eb mbledhur nga k\u00ebrkimet n\u00eb terren.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ata u takuan n\u00eb demonstrat\u00ebn e p\u00ebrvjetorit t\u00eb par\u00eb t\u00eb Universitetit Politeknik. T\u00eb dy ishin student\u00eb n\u00eb Selanik. Gjasht\u00eb muaj m\u00eb von\u00eb, ata u b\u00ebn\u00eb \u00e7ift. Dy vjet m\u00eb von\u00eb, ata ishin tashm\u00eb t\u00eb martuar dhe prind\u00ebr. Sot, ata jan\u00eb n\u00eb dekad\u00ebn e shtat\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebs, kan\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb dhe nip\u00ebr e mbesa, por jetojn\u00eb t\u00eb ndar\u00eb. Katerina dhe Spyros jan\u00eb nj\u00eb nga mij\u00ebra \u00e7iftet q\u00eb divorcohen pas mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme. \u201cDivorcet gri\u201d jan\u00eb tani nj\u00eb realitet n\u00eb vendin ton\u00eb, sipas hulumtimit t\u00eb par\u00eb n\u00eb terren t\u00eb kryer nga studiues n\u00eb Universitetin e Patras.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cSpyrosi m\u00eb telefonon vazhdimisht p\u00ebr t&#8217;u ribashkuar; jo sepse m\u00eb do ose m\u00eb mungon, por p\u00ebr arsye praktike, p\u00ebr shpenzime dhe p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt tan\u00eb\u201d, thot\u00eb 64-vje\u00e7arja Katerina, e cila n\u00eb vitin 2015 mori vendimin t\u00eb largohej nga sht\u00ebpia, pasi tani ndihej e tradhtuar emocionalisht dhe ideologjikisht nga burri i saj. M\u00eb par\u00eb ajo ishte p\u00ebrpjekur t\u00eb zgjidhte mosmarr\u00ebveshjet me ndihm\u00ebn e nj\u00eb k\u00ebshilltari martesor, gj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk dha rezultatet e pritura. \u201cAjo q\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmoi v\u00ebrtet t\u00eb \u00e7lirohesha dhe t\u00eb kuptoja se \u00e7far\u00eb ishte m\u00eb e mira p\u00ebr mua ishte psikoterapia &#8211; fillova pasi humba t\u00eb dy prind\u00ebrit e mi\u201d, v\u00ebren ajo. Katerina ishte nj\u00eb athinase q\u00eb e gjeti veten si studente n\u00eb Selanik, me perspektiv\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb vazhduar studimet n\u00eb Franc\u00eb, n\u00eb Shkoll\u00ebn e Arteve t\u00eb Bukura. Ajo u takua me Spyrosin n\u00eb kontekstin e nj\u00eb organizate studentore. \u201cNuk ishte dashuri, prandaj u b\u00ebm\u00eb \u00e7ift gjasht\u00eb muaj m\u00eb von\u00eb.\u201d \u201cKishim nj\u00eb ideologji t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt dhe kjo na bashkoi.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00abAi m\u00eb telefonon q\u00eb t\u00eb ribashkohemi; jo sepse m\u00eb do ose m\u00eb mungon, por p\u00ebr arsye praktike, p\u00ebr shpenzime dhe p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt tan\u00eb\u00bb, thot\u00eb 64-vje\u00e7arja Katerina p\u00ebr ish-bashk\u00ebshortin e saj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pas lindjes s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre t\u00eb par\u00eb dhe pasi Spyrosi mbaroi sh\u00ebrbimin ushtarak, \u00e7ifti i ri vendosi t\u00eb shp\u00ebrngulej n\u00eb qytetin e tij t\u00eb lindjes. \u00abDit\u00ebn e demonstrat\u00ebs s\u00eb madhe para zgjedhjeve t\u00eb vitit 1981, n\u00eb koh\u00ebn kur Andreas Papandreu po mb\u00ebshteste vler\u00ebn e decentralizimit, nj\u00eb mik i tij nga fshati e telefonoi dhe i tha: \u2018Eja k\u00ebtu dhe b\u00ebj biznes, vendi \u00ebsht\u00eb i past\u00ebr\u2019\u00bb. Pavar\u00ebsisht kund\u00ebrshtimeve t\u00eb vjehrrit dhe pron\u00ebs s\u00eb Katerin\u00ebs n\u00eb Athin\u00eb, \u00e7ifti u vendos n\u00eb qytetin e Spyrosit n\u00eb Thesali. \u00abIshte nj\u00eb optimiz\u00ebm i \u00e7uditsh\u00ebm dhe i pashpjeguesh\u00ebm, p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb rinis\u00eb s\u00eb mosh\u00ebs son\u00eb, por edhe t\u00eb atmosfer\u00ebs p\u00ebrreth, t\u00eb besimit n\u00eb nj\u00eb ndryshim q\u00eb do t\u00eb vinte\u00bb, vler\u00ebson sot gruaja 63-vje\u00e7are, e cila i njeh patologjit\u00eb me t\u00eb cilat u p\u00ebrball brezi i saj. \u201cN\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 20 vje\u00e7 isha, p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb e sinqert\u00eb, nj\u00eb \u2018viktim\u00eb e leht\u00eb\u2019. Isha rritur me metodat pedagogjike t\u00eb viteve \u201950 dhe \u201960, babai im ishte i rrept\u00eb dhe shum\u00eb fetar. Pa vet\u00ebdije doja t\u00eb rebelohesha. K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb k\u00ebrkova nj\u00eb partner me karakteristika krejt\u00ebsisht t\u00eb ndryshme, di\u00e7ka q\u00eb me kalimin e koh\u00ebs doli t\u00eb ishte nj\u00eb iluzion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Njer\u00ebzit ndryshojn\u00eb <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">N\u00eb 40 vitet q\u00eb kan\u00eb kaluar, ose Spyros \u00ebsht\u00eb transformuar, &#8220;\u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb tradicionalist n\u00eb kuptimin m\u00eb t\u00eb keq absolut&#8221;, ose Katerina e ka par\u00eb qart\u00eb karakterin e tij. &#8220;Ne kishim nj\u00eb mentalitet krejt\u00ebsisht t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm, ai i jepte p\u00ebrpar\u00ebsi parave n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha rrethanat, ai donte q\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha pasurit\u00eb t\u00eb ishin n\u00eb emrin e tij. &#8220;Sa i p\u00ebrket rritjes s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, ne kishim pik\u00ebpamje diametralisht t\u00eb kund\u00ebrta; burri q\u00eb dikur e shpallte veten t\u00eb majt\u00eb nuk i lejonte f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb studionin at\u00eb q\u00eb kishin zgjedhur dhe pastaj, nga nj\u00ebra an\u00eb, e vendosi vajz\u00ebn ton\u00eb t\u00eb martohej me nj\u00eb bashkatdhetar t\u00eb pasur t\u00eb tij, nga ana tjet\u00ebr, djalin ton\u00eb t\u00eb merrej ekskluzivisht me fushat familjare.&#8221; Me mb\u00ebshtetjen e n\u00ebn\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt ndoq\u00ebn rrug\u00ebt e tyre. &#8220;Ai nuk besonte n\u00eb vler\u00ebn e tyre, ai i n\u00ebnvler\u00ebsonte sistematikisht,&#8221; thot\u00eb ajo me hidh\u00ebrim. &#8220;Ai b\u00ebri t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn gj\u00eb me mua.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">F\u00ebmij\u00ebt, tani mbi 40 vje\u00e7, sigurisht q\u00eb e dinin se situata midis prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb tyre ishte shp\u00ebrthyese, por u habit\u00ebn nga ndarja e tyre. \u201cVajza ime gjithmon\u00eb thoshte: \u2018Ju bashkova nj\u00eb her\u00eb, do t&#8217;ju ndaj\u2019, por ajo u shkat\u00ebrrua kur ndodhi; e nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb vlen edhe p\u00ebr djalin tim. Megjithat\u00eb, e vetmja gj\u00eb q\u00eb ndryshon n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tyre t\u00eb p\u00ebrditshme \u00ebsht\u00eb se duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb nj\u00eb telefonat\u00eb t\u00eb dyt\u00eb.\u201d Gjat\u00eb viteve q\u00eb jetuan t\u00eb ndar\u00eb, Spyros shtoi shum\u00eb n\u00eb pesh\u00eb dhe iu n\u00ebnshtrua nj\u00eb operacioni serioz n\u00eb zem\u00ebr t\u00eb hapur. \u201cI mb\u00ebshteta n\u00eb nj\u00eb nivel njer\u00ebzor, por kaq. Jetoj n\u00eb 65 metra katror\u00eb me nj\u00eb pension prej 760 eurosh, por jam shum\u00eb e lumtur. Shkoj n\u00eb palest\u00ebr, n\u00eb kor, n\u00eb valle tradicionale dhe sa her\u00eb q\u00eb mundem, zbres n\u00eb Athin\u00eb dhe kujdesem p\u00ebr nip\u00ebrit e mbesat e mia.\u201d Vetmia, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 22 vje\u00e7 me frik\u00ebsonte, nuk me frik\u00ebson sot. \u201cP\u00ebrkundrazi, n\u00eb fakt po e shijoj.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nj\u00eb fenomen dinamik<br>\u201cN\u00eb shumic\u00ebn d\u00ebrrmuese t\u00eb rasteve, jan\u00eb grat\u00eb ato q\u00eb marrin vendimin p\u00ebr t\u2019u divorcuar\u201d, v\u00ebren Manolis Mentis, profesor asistent n\u00eb Departamentin e Arsimit dhe Pun\u00ebs Sociale n\u00eb Universitetin e Patr\u00ebs, i cili ka hulumtuar \u201cdivorcet gri\u201d n\u00eb muajt e fundit. Ai dhe kandidatja e tij p\u00ebr doktoratur\u00eb, punonj\u00ebsja sociale dhe psikoterapistja Marilena Mavroidis, kan\u00eb folur me dhjet\u00ebra njer\u00ebz q\u00eb jan\u00eb divorcuar pas mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme dhe jetojn\u00eb n\u00eb qendra urbane dhe m\u00eb gjer\u00eb. \u201cNe konfirmuam se ky nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb trend q\u00eb v\u00ebrehet vet\u00ebm n\u00eb Per\u00ebndim, por nj\u00eb fenomen dinamik, i vazhduesh\u00ebm, n\u00eb Greqi\u201d, shpjegon z. Mentis. Edhe pse ekziston nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb e p\u00ebrhapur se shum\u00eb \u00e7ifte t\u00eb moshuara jetojn\u00eb t\u00eb ndara, por pa vazhduar me legalizimin e ndarjes p\u00ebr arsye financiare ose trash\u00ebgimie, duket se n\u00eb fund ka shum\u00eb q\u00eb divorcohen \u201cme nj\u00eb vot\u00eb t\u00eb thjesht\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sipas t\u00eb dh\u00ebnave t\u00eb ELSTAT, shkalla e divorceve n\u00eb vendin ton\u00eb duket se po stabilizohet (42.4% e martesave n\u00eb vitin 2024), megjithat\u00eb, divorcet po rriten n\u00eb moshat m\u00eb t\u00eb vjetra. Dhe &#8220;divorcet gri&#8221; rezultojn\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb &#8220;nd\u00ebrklasore&#8221;. &#8220;Ato regjistrohen po aq shpesh midis njer\u00ebzve me pensione prej 400 dhe 500 eurosh, por edhe n\u00eb \u00e7ifte v\u00ebrtet t\u00eb pasura&#8221;, p\u00ebrgjigjet z. Mentis n\u00eb pyetjen e arsyeshme. &#8220;Shumic\u00ebn e koh\u00ebs, grat\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb pavarura financiarisht, por kemi takuar edhe disa me v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi aq t\u00eb m\u00ebdha sa vendos\u00ebn ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pa t\u00eb ardhurat e tyre&#8221;. Gjithashtu duket se n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrit\u00eb e mbyllura, \u00e7iftet kan\u00eb tendenc\u00eb ta formalizojn\u00eb ndarjen m\u00eb shpesh. &#8220;Ndoshta q\u00eb t\u00eb mos thuhet se ata e mbajn\u00eb zyrtarisht nj\u00eb martes\u00eb vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrfituar nga di\u00e7ka, pasi asgj\u00eb nuk mbetet e fshehur n\u00eb vendet e vogla&#8221;, komenton znj. Mavroidi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cMosha e mesme \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb moment historik n\u00eb jet\u00ebn ton\u00eb dhe shoq\u00ebrohet me shum\u00eb ndryshime, nj\u00eb prej t\u00eb cilave mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb ndarje\u201d, vazhdon ajo, duke dashur t\u00eb jap\u00eb nj\u00eb interpretim t\u00eb par\u00eb. <strong>\u201c\u00cbsht\u00eb e qart\u00eb se nuk mund ta studiojm\u00eb fenomenin pa marr\u00eb parasysh sindrom\u00ebn e foles\u00eb bosh, e cila i mundon njer\u00ebzit e mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme kur f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre rriten dhe largohen nga sht\u00ebpia, daljen n\u00eb pension me t\u00eb gjitha ndryshimet q\u00eb sjell, por edhe rritjen e pamohueshme t\u00eb jet\u00ebgjat\u00ebsis\u00eb\u201d, shton z. Mentis. Diku k\u00ebtu, hyn edhe frika nga vdekja. \u201cKur jeton nj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb pajetueshme, kur kupton se nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo q\u00eb ke \u00ebnd\u00ebrruar kur ishe m\u00eb i ri, kjo e intensifikon frik\u00ebn nga vdekja\u201d, v\u00ebren znj. Mavroidis. T\u00eb tjer\u00eb, \u201cbart\u00ebs meshkuj\u201d, ndoshta t\u00eb bindur se e kan\u00eb rregulluar familjen e tyre materialisht, mund t\u00eb duan t\u00eb shk\u00ebputen prej saj p\u00ebr t\u00eb shijuar arritjet e tyre.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u00c7far\u00eb duan grat\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Megjithat\u00eb, n\u00eb Greqi, \u201cdivorci gri\u201d m\u00eb shum\u00eb kujton nj\u00eb revolucion t\u00eb heshtur t\u00eb grave. \u201cGrat\u00eb divorcohen q\u00eb t\u00eb mos ndihen m\u00eb t\u00eb vetmuara n\u00eb nj\u00eb martes\u00eb\u201d, v\u00ebren znj. Mavroidis. \u201cShoq\u00ebria ndoshta ka ekzistuar fillimisht, por me kalimin e koh\u00ebs u eliminua.\u201d Momenti i duhur p\u00ebr\u2026 daljen e madhe duket se vjen pas t\u00eb 50-ave. \u201cNj\u00eb grua, p\u00ebr shembull, del n\u00eb pension, ndihet e pavarur financiarisht, llogarit se ka t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn 20 vjet jet\u00eb p\u00ebrpara, t\u00eb cilat d\u00ebshiron t\u2019i shijoj\u00eb, pasi nuk ka m\u00eb detyrime urgjente\u201d, thot\u00eb z. Mentis. Nuk jan\u00eb vet\u00ebm f\u00ebmij\u00ebt q\u00eb i kan\u00eb \u00e7liruar n\u00ebnat e tyre nga shqet\u00ebsimet, por edhe vet\u00eb prind\u00ebrit e tyre, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt ndoshta nuk jan\u00eb m\u00eb gjall\u00eb. \u201cKjo n\u00ebnkupton nj\u00eb \u00e7lirim t\u00eb madh p\u00ebr ata n\u00eb t\u00eb 50-at dhe 60-at e tyre, pasi ata po merrnin parasysh kritikat q\u00eb do t\u00eb merrnin nga brezi i m\u00ebparsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr nj\u00eb divorc\u201d, v\u00ebren z. Mentis. \u201cGjithashtu, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e pazakont\u00eb, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht n\u00eb fshat, q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb tani jan\u00eb 60 vje\u00e7 t\u00eb martohen me sugjerimin e familjes s\u00eb tyre, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, me marr\u00ebveshje. Gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre, brezi i famsh\u00ebm i Baby Boomers i fshatit grek ishte i shtypur.\u201d<br>\u201cDivorci gri\u201d m\u00eb shum\u00eb kujton nj\u00eb revolucion t\u00eb heshtur t\u00eb grave. \u201cGrat\u00eb divorcohen q\u00eb t\u00eb mos ndihen m\u00eb t\u00eb vetmuara n\u00eb nj\u00eb martes\u00eb\u201d, thot\u00eb psikoterapistja Marilena Mavroidis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Megjithat\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe nj\u00eb \u00e7lirim praktik: Vajzat m\u00eb shpesh marrin p\u00ebrsip\u00ebr p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsin\u00eb e kujdesit p\u00ebr prind\u00ebrit e tyre t\u00eb moshuar, dhe n\u00ebse ato jan\u00eb &#8220;larguar&#8221; dhe n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn koh\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre jan\u00eb rritur dhe kan\u00eb hapur krah\u00ebt, grat\u00eb papritmas e gjejn\u00eb veten t\u00eb lira dhe shikojn\u00eb p\u00ebrreth p\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00eb se kush po q\u00ebndron pran\u00eb tyre dhe n\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb gjendjeje shpirt\u00ebrore. P\u00ebr pjes\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, ato shohin nj\u00eb partner t\u00eb lodhur dhe t\u00eb m\u00ebrzitur. &#8220;Shumica e grave, n\u00eb intervistat nd\u00ebrpersonale, m\u00eb p\u00ebrshkruajn\u00eb nj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebparshme q\u00eb nuk ishte nj\u00eb jet\u00eb ndarjeje, t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn jo nj\u00eb ndarje e drejt\u00eb&#8221;, thot\u00eb z. Mentis. Prandaj, ato duken t\u00eb gatshme t\u00eb korrigjojn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb padrejt\u00ebsi t\u00eb rr\u00ebnjosur. &#8220;Ato po k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb nj\u00eb shans t\u00eb dyt\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00eb&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00c7far\u00eb p\u00ebrfshin nj\u00eb shans i dyt\u00eb?<br>&#8220;Shum\u00eb gra vazhdojn\u00eb studimet e tyre q\u00eb i kishin nd\u00ebrprer\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb krijuar nj\u00eb familje dhe duan t\u00eb p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb, kryesisht p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, nuk e kishin prioritizuar&#8221;. Pal\u00ebt e treta duket se luajn\u00eb nj\u00eb rol t\u00eb vog\u00ebl. &#8220;Askush nuk e p\u00ebrmendi pabesin\u00eb e pal\u00ebs tjet\u00ebr ose ndjenjat e tyre p\u00ebr nj\u00eb person tjet\u00ebr si arsye p\u00ebr ndarje&#8221;, thot\u00eb znj. Mavroidis. &#8220;Shumica e grave thon\u00eb se as nuk e din\u00eb n\u00ebse burri i tyre kishte nj\u00eb lidhje jasht\u00ebmartesore&#8221;. Megjithat\u00eb, ajo q\u00eb grat\u00eb p\u00ebrmendin vazhdimisht si arsye p\u00ebr p\u00ebrkeq\u00ebsimin e marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnies s\u00eb tyre \u00ebsht\u00eb kujdesi i vazhduesh\u00ebm i burrave t\u00eb tyre. \u201cAto t\u00eb gjitha flasin p\u00ebr martesat n\u00eb t\u00eb cilat ato luanin rolin e kujdestares; ato ishin n\u00ebna p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt q\u00eb lind\u00ebn dhe p\u00ebr burrat e tyre\u201d, thot\u00eb znj. Mavroidis. Kjo ndarje rolesh duket se kontribuon n\u00eb lodhje, prandaj grat\u00eb n\u00eb studim jan\u00eb negative n\u00eb lidhje me perspektiv\u00ebn e nj\u00eb angazhimi t\u00eb ri. \u201cAto nuk duan nj\u00eb martes\u00eb t\u00eb re sepse nuk duan t\u00eb jen\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebri kujdestare.\u201d Duket se, me vet\u00ebdije ose pa vet\u00ebdije, ato e shoq\u00ebrojn\u00eb angazhimin me ofrimin e kujdesit. \u201cGrat\u00eb duan t\u00eb shihen nga partneri i tyre jasht\u00eb kornizave, jo vet\u00ebm si n\u00ebna ose kujdestare, por si gra\u201d, v\u00ebren Mentis. \u201cShpresoj q\u00eb brezi i ardhsh\u00ebm i grave do t\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb i vendosur dhe do ta p\u00ebrmbys\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rol t\u00eb rr\u00ebnjosur.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ky model, sigurisht, funksionon anasjelltas p\u00ebr burrat. \u201cAta nuk duan t\u00eb largohen nga martesa sepse nuk duan t\u00eb humbasin kujdesin\u201d, shpjegon znj. Mavroidis. \u201cP\u00ebr temperamentin e tyre, \u00ebsht\u00eb jetike t\u00eb ken\u00eb dik\u00eb q\u00eb \u2018kujdeset\u2019 p\u00ebr ta.\u201d Prandaj, kur m\u00eb n\u00eb fund humbasin kujdestarin e tyre, pasojat jan\u00eb serioze. \u201c\u00cbsht\u00eb v\u00ebrtetuar se burrat, pasi lihen vet\u00ebm dhe t\u00eb izoluar, shfaqin probleme kardiovaskulare, tromboz\u00eb ose fillimin e demenc\u00ebs me p\u00ebrparim t\u00eb shpejt\u00eb.\u201d Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb arsyeja pse ata kan\u00eb tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb rikthehen n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Vasilis \u201cu grind\u201d<br>N\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet njer\u00ebzore, sigurisht, nuk ka rregulla. Dhjet\u00eb vjet m\u00eb par\u00eb, Vasilis, tani 59 vje\u00e7, u p\u00ebrball me nj\u00eb problem serioz me aritmi kardiake. \u201cKardiologu nuk mund ta p\u00ebrcaktonte, analizat e mia t\u00eb gjakut ishin t\u00eb mira, nuk kisha nj\u00eb histori t\u00eb keqe familjare, por e dija q\u00eb ishte p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb situat\u00ebs n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi\u201d, shpjegon ai sot. Vasilis ishte martuar n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 28 \u200b\u200bvje\u00e7. \u201cIshte nj\u00eb njohje vere q\u00eb u zhvillua n\u00eb nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie, nuk ishte nj\u00eb dashuri e madhe, por ne ishim t\u00eb pajtuesh\u00ebm dhe t\u00eb dashur.\u201d \u00c7ifti u vendos jasht\u00eb Athin\u00ebs, n\u00eb nj\u00eb vend me origjin\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt, dhe shpejt pati dy f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Ai vet\u00eb, si inxhinier, ishte aktiv n\u00eb vend, nd\u00ebrsa gruaja e tij udh\u00ebtonte p\u00ebr n\u00eb Athin\u00eb si n\u00ebpun\u00ebse e lart\u00eb civile. Ret\u00eb e para u shfaq\u00ebn pas lindjes s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre t\u00eb par\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cMendova se po p\u00ebrjetonte depresion pas lindjes, prandaj i dhash\u00eb shum\u00eb koh\u00eb p\u00ebr ta kap\u00ebrcyer. Ajo vet\u00eb kishte refuzuar t\u00eb pranonte ndihm\u00eb. Megjithat\u00eb, me kalimin e koh\u00ebs, kuptova se ajo kishte ndryshuar si personalitet n\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebrfundimtare.\u201d Gruaja e re mungonte n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, ajo deklaroi se ishte e zhytur n\u00eb pun\u00ebn e saj dhe nuk kishte koh\u00eb p\u00ebr detyrime t\u00eb tjera. \u201cZgjohesha n\u00eb or\u00ebn 3 t\u00eb m\u00ebngjesit, b\u00ebja faz\u00ebn e par\u00eb t\u00eb pun\u00ebs sime, kthehesha n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi n\u00eb or\u00ebn 7 t\u00eb m\u00ebngjesit p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrgatitur m\u00ebngjesin p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe p\u00ebr t&#8217;i \u00e7uar n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb, dhe i merrja p\u00ebrs\u00ebri n\u00eb mesdit\u00eb. N\u00eb \u00e7do udh\u00ebtim, k\u00ebndonim nj\u00eb k\u00ebng\u00eb specifike p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00eb, duke dashur t\u00eb forconim vog\u00eblushen time q\u00eb ishte diagnostikuar me disleksi.\u201d Nuk kishte konflikte n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, pasi Vasilis i shmangte ato. \u201cAjo nuk donte asnj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie me familjen time, dhe nd\u00ebrsa ngjitej n\u00eb karrier\u00ebn e saj, ajo ndaloi madje as t\u00eb thoshte mir\u00ebm\u00ebngjes lagjes\u201d, shton ai. Ata ishin t\u00eb larguar mend\u00ebrisht dhe fizikisht. \u201cShpesh i thoja: \u2018Jemi n\u00eb nj\u00eb vark\u00eb, por ndihem sikur jam i vetmi q\u00eb vozis dhe nuk po shkojm\u00eb askund\u2019. Por ajo nuk dukej e gatshme t\u00eb merrte pjes\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00ebn ton\u00eb familjare n\u00eb asnj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb. P\u00ebrkundrazi, ajo kishte shum\u00eb shp\u00ebrthime ndaj f\u00ebmij\u00ebve dhe u b\u00eb e dhunshme, madje edhe fizikisht; prandaj gjithmon\u00eb doja t\u00eb isha aty p\u00ebr t\u00eb parandaluar situatat.\u201d N\u00eb vitin 2020, me karantin\u00ebn q\u00eb ndihmonte, gota u mbush plot. \u201cU grind\u00ebm dhe un\u00eb u largova nga sht\u00ebpia. Meqen\u00ebse e kisha b\u00ebr\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb dhe isha kthyer, ajo ishte e sigurt se nuk e kisha me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Por nuk u ktheva.\u201d F\u00ebmij\u00ebt u informuan \u201cngath\u00ebt\u201d (\u201cua shpjegova n\u00eb telefon\u201d), por Vasilis hoqi dor\u00eb nga sht\u00ebpia e tij n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00ebna t\u00eb jetonte me t\u00eb birin p\u00ebr nj\u00eb vit, derisa f\u00ebmija t\u00eb mbaronte shkoll\u00ebn e mesme.<br>\u201cIsh-gruaja i shihte f\u00ebmij\u00ebt si pjes\u00eb t\u00eb imazhit t\u00eb saj publik: kur merrnin nota t\u00eb mira, ajo mburrej me ta, por kur kishin v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi, i linte vet\u00ebm\u201d, v\u00ebren ai sot. \u00abNuk kisha m\u00ebsuar t\u00eb vendosja kufij ose t\u00eb thoja jo, k\u00ebto ishin gabime q\u00eb i kuptova pak nga pak dhe me ndihm\u00ebn e nj\u00eb psikologu\u00bb, tregon ai p\u00ebr \u201cK\u201d. Sot, \u00e7ifti tani \u00ebsht\u00eb i divorcuar, jetojn\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi t\u00eb ndryshme, por n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin qytet, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt studiojn\u00eb larg. \u00abDisa muaj pas ndarjes, djali im m\u00eb d\u00ebrgoi nj\u00eb mesazh q\u00eb m\u00eb tronditi: \u2018Babi, tani e kuptoj rolin t\u00ebnd, ti jetoje n\u00eb err\u00ebsir\u00eb \u200b\u200bdhe p\u00ebrpiqeshe t\u00eb na bindje se ishte me diell\u2019\u00bb. Vasilis sot ndihet optimist dhe madje gati p\u00ebr nj\u00eb fillim t\u00eb ri n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tij personale. \u00abM\u00ebsova t\u00eb kujdesem dhe ta dua veten, b\u00ebj ushtrime fizike, testet e zemr\u00ebs sime jan\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebri t\u00eb p\u00ebrsosura, divorci ishte vendimi m\u00eb i mir\u00eb q\u00eb mora\u00bb. Ai rr\u00ebfen se, megjith\u00ebse vendimi ishte marr\u00eb tashm\u00eb, ai e vonoi me vet\u00ebdije at\u00eb \u00abp\u00ebr hir t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve\u00bb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Problemi n\u00eb Greqi<br>Shum\u00eb her\u00eb, si n\u00eb rastin e Vasilis, ka nj\u00eb periudh\u00eb &#8220;inkubacioni&#8221; t\u00eb ndarjes, pasi alienimi emocional i paraprin divorcit. &#8220;Shumica e njer\u00ebzve kan\u00eb ankth dhe trishtim gjat\u00eb ndarjes, por pasi mbaron, dhe nd\u00ebrsa largohen me kalimin e koh\u00ebs, ndihen m\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe morali i tyre p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsohet&#8221;, v\u00ebren znj. Mavroidis. &#8220;Ata q\u00eb m\u00eb von\u00eb shprehin trishtim, duket se kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb ish-partnerit dhe martes\u00ebs q\u00eb nuk funksionoi, por p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtjeve t\u00eb tyre personale, t\u00eb palidhura me divorcin.&#8221;<br>Duke pasur parasysh mosh\u00ebn e tyre, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt informohen p\u00ebr mund\u00ebsin\u00eb e ndarjes s\u00eb prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb tyre. &#8220;N\u00ebse marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnia ishte abuzive dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e p\u00ebrjetuan k\u00ebt\u00eb gjithashtu, ata nuk kund\u00ebrshtojn\u00eb. Megjithat\u00eb, n\u00ebse nuk ishte duksh\u00ebm abuzive, \u00ebsht\u00eb e mundur q\u00eb ata t\u00eb reagojn\u00eb fort&#8221;, p\u00ebrshkruan z. Mentis. Pavar\u00ebsisht faktit se f\u00ebmij\u00ebt jan\u00eb t\u00eb rritur dhe pak a shum\u00eb autonom\u00eb, situata e re familjare mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb goditje. &#8220;Ata do t\u00eb humbasin financiarisht dhe shoq\u00ebrisht, nuk p\u00ebrjashtohet q\u00eb njer\u00ebz t\u00eb rinj t\u00eb shfaqen n\u00eb familje, si\u00e7 jan\u00eb v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit e motrat, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht nga baballar\u00ebt&#8221;, thekson z. Mentis. &#8220;Si do ta menaxhojn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb emocionalisht dhe praktikisht, pasi kjo do t\u00eb thot\u00eb rishp\u00ebrndarje e nj\u00eb pasurie?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cN\u00ebse marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnia ka qen\u00eb abuzive dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e kan\u00eb p\u00ebrjetuar k\u00ebt\u00eb gjithashtu, at\u00ebher\u00eb ata nuk e kund\u00ebrshtojn\u00eb ndarjen\u201d, thot\u00eb Manolis Mentis, profesor n\u00eb Universitetin e Patr\u00ebs.<br>Sigurisht, nj\u00eb divorc n\u00eb mosh\u00eb t\u00eb shtyr\u00eb, p\u00ebrtej \u00e7lirimit t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm q\u00eb mund t\u2019u ofroj\u00eb t\u00eb dyja pal\u00ebve t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshira, mund t\u2019i p\u00ebrball\u00eb ata me vetmin\u00eb. \u201cNuk p\u00ebrjashtohet q\u00eb ata do t\u00eb duhet t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb miq t\u00eb rinj, sepse rrjeti i tyre shoq\u00ebror do t\u00eb prishet. Hulumtimet tregojn\u00eb se pas mosh\u00ebs 50 vje\u00e7 e kemi t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb krijojm\u00eb lidhje miq\u00ebsore me njer\u00ebz t\u00eb rinj; kjo, sigurisht, vlen edhe p\u00ebr burrat, grat\u00eb jan\u00eb m\u00eb fleksibile.\u201d Mb\u00ebshtetja do t\u00eb jet\u00eb e kufizuar edhe brenda familjes, duke pasur parasysh se gjysh\u00ebrit do t\u00eb jetojn\u00eb t\u00eb ndar\u00eb. \u201cDo t\u00eb jet\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre t\u00eb kujdesen p\u00ebr ta kur t\u00eb jet\u00eb e nevojshme, ashtu si\u00e7 do t\u00eb jet\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb p\u00ebr ta t\u00eb ndihmojn\u00eb n\u00eb rritjen e nip\u00ebrve e mbesave t\u00eb tyre\u201d, v\u00ebren z. Mentis, duke na kujtuar m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn se si funksionojn\u00eb familjet n\u00eb vendet mesdhetare, si Greqia. \u201cDo t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb munges\u00eb serioze t\u00eb kujdesit, n\u00eb nj\u00eb vend pa infrastruktur\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb moshuarit dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe pa nj\u00eb sistem mir\u00ebqenieje n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi, ku problemet ekonomike jan\u00eb t\u00eb shumta dhe mb\u00ebshtetja sociale \u00ebsht\u00eb thelb\u00ebsore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rritja e &#8220;divorceve gri&#8221;<br>Sipas ELSTAT, n\u00eb vitin 2025, u divorcuan 1,143 burra t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 60-64 vje\u00e7 dhe u divorcuan 1,322 mbi 65 vje\u00e7. N\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin vit, u divorcuan 665 gra t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 60-64 vje\u00e7 dhe u divorcuan 636 mbi 65 vje\u00e7. N\u00eb vitin 2017, u divorcuan 846 burra t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 60-64 vje\u00e7, 420 t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 64 deri n\u00eb 69 vje\u00e7, 208 t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 70 deri n\u00eb 74 vje\u00e7 dhe 138 burra mbi 75 vje\u00e7. Nga grat\u00eb q\u00eb u divorcuan n\u00eb vitin 2017, 398 ishin t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 60-64 vje\u00e7, 227 ishin t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 64-69 vje\u00e7, 83 ishin t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 70-74 vje\u00e7 dhe 43 ishin mbi 75 vje\u00e7. Numri aktual vler\u00ebsohet t\u00eb jet\u00eb edhe m\u00eb i lart\u00eb, pasi shum\u00eb jetojn\u00eb t\u00eb ndar\u00eb pa u divorcuar zyrtarisht. N\u00eb Shtetet e Bashkuara, nj\u00eb n\u00eb dhjet\u00eb persona q\u00eb u divorcuan n\u00eb vitin 2022 ishte 65 vje\u00e7 ose m\u00eb i vjet\u00ebr (Brown &amp; Lin, 2022). P\u00ebrqindja e personave mbi 65 vje\u00e7 q\u00eb u divorcuan n\u00eb vitin 2022 (15.2%) ishte pothuajse trefishi i nivelit n\u00eb vitin 1990 (5.2%). (Qendra Komb\u00ebtare p\u00ebr K\u00ebrkime Familjare dhe Martesore)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sipas New York Times, q\u00eb nga pandemia, rreth 40% e atyre q\u00eb divorcohen n\u00eb SHBA jan\u00eb mbi 50 vje\u00e7.<br>N\u00eb vitin 2023, sipas Qendr\u00ebs K\u00ebrkimore Pew, 14% e njer\u00ebzve n\u00eb t\u00eb 60-at dhe 12% e njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 70 vje\u00e7 e lart p\u00ebrdornin nj\u00eb aplikacion takimesh.\/kathimerini<br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>T\u00eb \u00e7liruar nga detyrimet dhe t\u00eb lodhur nga martesa e tyre, njer\u00ebzit pas mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme po vendosin gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb ndahen. M\u00eb posht\u00eb jan\u00eb d\u00ebshmit\u00eb dhe komentet e dy shkenc\u00ebtar\u00ebve nga Universiteti i Patr\u00ebs ne Greqi, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt analizojn\u00eb t\u00eb dh\u00ebnat q\u00eb kan\u00eb mbledhur nga k\u00ebrkimet n\u00eb terren. Ata u takuan n\u00eb [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":40782,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40781","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-stil"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u00c7far\u00eb jan\u00eb divorcet &quot;gri&quot; dhe pse jan\u00eb rritur ato? - Kosova Times<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/kosovatimes.info\/index.php\/2026\/11\/02\/cfare-jane-divorcet-gri-dhe-pse-jane-rritur-ato\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u00c7far\u00eb jan\u00eb divorcet &quot;gri&quot; dhe pse jan\u00eb rritur ato? - Kosova Times\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"T\u00eb \u00e7liruar nga detyrimet dhe t\u00eb lodhur nga martesa e tyre, njer\u00ebzit pas mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme po vendosin gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb ndahen. 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